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Rodney Dangerfield
“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”
Rodney Dangerfield

Charles M. Schulz
“This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.”
Charles M. Schulz

Phyllis Diller
“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
Phyllis Diller

Bill Cosby
“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.”
Bill Cosby

Shel Silverstein
“I cannot go to school today"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.

My mouth is wet, my throat is dry.
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox.

And there's one more - that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue,
It might be the instamatic flu.

I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke.
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in.

My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My toes are cold, my toes are numb,

I have a sliver in my thumb.

My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,

I think my hair is falling out.

My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,

There's a hole inside my ear.

I have a hangnail, and my heart is ...
What? What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is .............. Saturday?

G'bye, I'm going out to play!”
Shel Silverstein

year in books
SUZANNE...
347 books | 36 friends

Stephan...
46 books | 16 friends

Tim Bayne
0 books | 6 friends

Sammy Ward
4 books | 11 friends

Shawnte...
0 books | 37 friends




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