Doug Deweaver

“She was only a prostitute, but she had the nicest face I ever came across.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

“I went through the usual stages: imp, rascal, scalawag, whippersnapper. And, of course, after that it's just a small step to full-blown sociopath.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

“It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn't afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

“Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings