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David Sedaris
“If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.”
David Sedaris, Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays

David Sedaris
“Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”
David Sedaris

David Sedaris
“He took a sip of my father’s weak coffee and spit it back into the mug. "This shit’s like making love in a canoe."
"Excuse me?"
"It’s fucking near water.”
David Sedaris, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

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