Ciara Duncum

“The man had a smooth voice, like velvet. “I’m Detective Inspector Me. Unusual name, I know. My family were incredibly
narcissistic. I’m lucky I escaped with any degree of humility at all, to be honest, but then I’ve always managed to exceed expectations. You are Kenny Dunne, are you not?”
“I am.”
“Just a few questions for you, Mr Dunne. Or Kenny. Can I call you Kenny? I feel we’ve become friends these past few seconds. Can I call you Kenny?”
“Sure,” Kenny said, slightly baffled.
“Thank you. Thank you very much. It’s important you feel comfortable around me, Kenny. It’s important we build up a level of trust. That way I’ll catch you completely unprepared when I
suddenly accuse you of murder.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“Come on. I know you're not a stupid man.'
'I'm quite stupid. Ask anyone.'
'Finbar, are there superheroes living among us?'
Finbar snorted with laughter and Kenny started to feel a little thick. 'Superheroes? In tights and capes, flying around? If there were superheroes, Mr. Journalist, don't you think they'd be in New York or somewhere like that? There's not that many tall buildings for Spiderman to swing from in Dublin, you know? He'd have maybe two good swings and then hang there looking disappointed.'
'These people don't wear tights and capes, Finbar.'
'So they're naked superheroes? That's grand for now, but when the good weather is over they're going to regret it.'
'They look like us. They dress like us. But they're not like us. They're different.'
'You,' Finbar said. 'Are sounding very racist right now.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“You want to see safe hands?' her dad asked. He went to the fruit bowl on the side of the table, took two apples and proceeded to juggle them. 'See? Safe as anything.'
'Are you proposing you juggle our newborn child?'
'Of course not,' he said. 'I'd only be able to juggle her if you'd had twins. Otherwise it would just be throwing.'
(...) 'From this moment on, I will be the best father the world has ever seen. Wifey, may I please hold my child?'
Valkyrie's mum looked at him suspiciously. 'When you hold a baby, what's the most important thing to remember?'
'Not to drop it,' he said proudly.
'Well, yes, well done dear, but I was thinking more about how you hold the baby.'
'Ah,' he said, 'Of course. The secret to holding a baby is to pick it up by the scruff of its neck.'
'You're thinking of kittens.'
'Pick it up by the ears, then.'
'You're thinking of nothing.'
'Can I please just hold her?'
'I don't think that's wise.'
'A lot of things aren't wise, Melissa. Is crossing the road with your eyes closed wise? No, but I do it anyway.'
His wife nodded. 'Stephanie, you are in charge of teaching Alice how to cross the road.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“Come and have a go, if you think you're hard enough”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire