Max

“When people visit my farm they often envision their dog, finally off-leash in acres of safely fenced countryside, running like Lassie in a television show, leaping over fallen tree trunks, shiny-eyed with joy at the change to run free in the country. While they're imagining that heartwarming scene, their dog is most likely gobbling up sheep poop as fast as he can. Dog aren't people, and if they have their own image of heaven, it most likely involves poop.”
― Patricia B. McConnell, For the Love of a Dog: Understanding Emotion in You and Your Best Friend

“My brother, my little brother, he's soooo perfect, but he's- he doesn't like food, like, literally doesn't like food, or, I don't know, he loves it. He loves it so much that it has to be perfect all the time, you know? And then one day he got so fed up with himself, he was like, he was so annoyed, he hated how much he loved food, yeah, so he thought it would be better if there wasn't any food. But that's so silly! Because you've got to eat food or you'll die, won't you?”
― Alice Oseman, Solitaire

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
― Steven Kloves

“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”
― George Carlin