Paige

“And here, I believe, the wit is generally misunderstood. In reality, it lies in desiring another to kiss your a-- for having just before threatened to kick his; for I have observed very accurately, that no one ever desires you to kick that which belongs to himself, nor offers to kiss this part in another.”
― Henry Fielding, The History of Tom Jones, a Foundling

“There was a deliberate voluptuousness that was both thrilling and repulsive.
And as she arched her neck she actually licked her lips like an animal till I could see in the moonlight the moisture
Then lapped the white, sharp teeth.
Lower and lower went her head. I closed my eyes in a languorous ecstasy and waited. ”
― Bram Stoker, Dracula

“If it is not beautiful for someone, it does not exist.”
― William Gaddis, The Recognitions

“Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly.”
― Benjamin Franklin, Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School