Mister Cool

“Animal rights people get upset over things like whaling and baby seal clubbing, but what seems particularly cruel is humans stealing honey from bees. Bees work their tails off all day, then we swipe it and say, Sorry guys, we like to put this stuff in our tea.”
― John Scheck

“As an atheist, when you ask me to pray for something it’s like asking me to blow on the dice so you can roll a lucky seven.”
― John Scheck

“Whenever I cut myself, I always grab a stack of stationery and write my signature on as many sheets as I can before it coagulates, because I think that in this era of text messages and emails, people still appreciate a desperate, hand-written letter signed in blood.”
― John Scheck

“People say a lot of good things about moderation. I’ve never met the fellow, but I’ve waved a few times as I gallop wildly towards excess.”
― John Scheck, Nothing Personal