Siobhan Coates

“Jose: Do not drop me senor
Jeff:i wont drop you,jose
Jose:then i be jose jalapeno on the floor
Peanut:do a little tap dance and we got salsa!
Jeff:Thats terrible!
Peanut:not with the right chips its not
Jeff:stop it! im sorry jose
jose:its okay
jeff: okay
Jose:ill kick his ass later
peanut:i'll turn ur ass into guacamole
jeff: stop it!
peanut: i will stir u with ur own stick!
jeff:stop it!
peanut: this is the way we stir the guac stir the guac stir the guac. OLE!!”
― Jeff Dunham

“Silence! I kill you!”
― Jeff Dunham

“Jeff-did you guys have a good day?
Jose-no
Jeff-why
Jose-he got my stick jammed in the car door
Jeff-what?did you say sorry
Jose- no
Jeff- why didn't you say sorry
Jose- cause he couldn't breath
Jeff-why couldn't he breath
Jose- cause he was laughing to hard”
― Jeff Dunham

“Peanut: Too much starbucks coffee, coffee, coffee!
Jeff: You didn't have coffee before the show!
Peanut: I admit it was crack.
Jeff: You didn't do crack
Peanut: Then you did! It feels like one of us did!
Peanut: Don't you do crack?
Jeff: No! I'VE NEVER DONE CRACK!
Peanut: Alright. I admit Jeff does not abuse drugs. He's an alcoholic.”
― Jeff Dunham