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Janet Evanovich
“Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?'

That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.”
Janet Evanovich, Fearless Fourteen

Janet Evanovich
“What's this outfit? You can't afford clothes? Are you wearing other peoples?"
Helen Plum”
Janet Evanovich, Two for the Dough

Janet Evanovich
“Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head."
Eddie DeChooch”
Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

Janet Evanovich
“Good thing he's dead," Lula said, "or that would have hurt like the devil.”
Janet Evanovich, Hot Six

Janet Evanovich
“Truth is, I think naked men are kind of strange looking what with their doodles and ding-dong hanging loose like they do. Nevertheless, there's the curiosity thing. I guess it's another one of those car crash experiences, where you feel compelled to look even if you know you'll be horrified.”
Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

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