Daniel Lambert

“Not only was Miss Cribbe bearded, and always trying to get chummy with us like we we're her real children or something, but she had a disgusting incontinent springer spaniel called Misty, who was constantly sneaking in to the dorms and weeing on our duvets”
― Tyne O'Connell, Pulling Princes

“Men are mystifying creatures. For instance why do all men think their penis is a panacea for all the world’s problems?”
― Tyne O'Connell, Latest Accessory

“My astrologer predicted a year of successful enterprise and good fortune. So what went wrong? Had there been some ghastly beaureaucratic astral mix up?”
― Tyne O'Connell, Latest Accessory

“She was to my ego what Rasputin was to morality, whittling away at my self-image with menaces and put downs viewed as compliments until I realised I was too old, too fat, too tall, too dull, too everything to ever find love.”
― Tyne O'Connell, Latest Accessory