Eli Burry-schnepp

“No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled.
"Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?"
"What?"
"Oh, you'd like something simpler?”
― Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

“Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.”
― Jim Butcher, Storm Front

“In the name of the Pizza Lord. Charge!”
― Jim Butcher, Summer Knight

“There are old swordsmen and bold swordsmen. But few old, bold swordsmen.”
― Jim Butcher, Academ's Fury