Mike

“Are you a female dog?"
"What?" Massie asked. "Why?"
"Because you are acting like a real bitch!”
― Lisi Harrison, The Clique

“According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.”
― Ashleigh Brilliant

“Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.”
― Dave Barry

“I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead”
― Jeff Foxworthy