Laura

“He whipped the chair around and actually split one of the things in half with the impact, spilling the spray of blood that was reflective, like mercury.
John bellowed, "Anyone else want to donate blood to chair-ity?"
He ducked into the the door and bashed one monster right in the wig, screaming, "There's some dessert! With a chair-y on top!”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“There's an old rule of theater that goes, 'If there's a gun on the mantel in Act I, it must go off in Act III.' The reverse is also true.”
― Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

“One more victim sucked in by John. You get into the room with him and you just fall into a warm pool of beer and video games and penis jokes, staring at the universe with him and saying, "Do you believe this shit?”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Fuck all of you," John retorded. "You don't even exist. We're all just a figment of my cock's imagination.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End