Insert Name

“Scientists say that...gender bending may keep fish from reproducing because, with so many in sexual limbo, there's just no real push to procreate.

Oh, if only deer, squirrels, and Kardashians would acquire this particular affliction. I'm just kidding. I don't really have anything against deer. Or squirrels.”
― Celia Rivenbark, You Don't Sweat Much for a Fat Girl: Observations on Life from the Shallow End of the Pool

“What's Walmart, do they sell like wall stuff?”
― Paris Hilton

“This is Earth. Isn't it hot?”
― paris hilton

“Really?” he said, the anger in his voice growing. I was about to answer when he left the booth and walked over to the counter. He flipped through a stack of magazines to read while-you-waited, grabbed one, and strode back to me. “Spike had found some of these in the house where we were,” he explained as he opened a People magazine to a picture of Brad Pitt. “So this man must have cured a disease or is a mighty warrior to command ten million dollars a movie. A movie is one of the frozen plays such as we saw yesterday, correct?” I nodded, although I’m not sure he noticed, since he kept on talking. “I am assuming that ten million dollars is a lot of money, but I haven’t quite figured out your currency system yet. Forgive me if I am incorrect. But if what I read is correct, this man makes an exorbitant sum of money for doing nothing more than being handsome. How is that different?” Before I could answer he flipped the page to a picture of Angelia Jolie. “It says this woman commands the same amount of money, so together they must be like a king and queen. Am I right? And while we are at it, please tell me what a Kardashian is.”

“I wish I knew.” I mumbled.”
― John Goode, Distant Rumblings