Samantha Franchi

“I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.”
― Joan Rivers

“The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her if she is pretty, and to someone else if she is plain.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
― Mark Twain