Tim Marcum

“It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pack of midgets, I’d be OK.
”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“Who are you?” asked Shasta.

“Myself,” said the Voice, very deep and low so that the earth shook: and again “Myself,” loud and clear and gay: and then the third time “Myself,” whispered so softly you could hardly hear it, and yet it seemed to come from all around you as if the leaves rustled with it.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Horse and His Boy

“Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called. 
”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks