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Eoin Colfer
“Well, young man, have you found anyone worthy of your respect?"
Artemis smiled back. "Yes," he said. "I believe I have.”
Eoin Colfer, The Arctic Incident

Eoin Colfer
“Make it fast, you shower of stinking rabbit droppings, I've got a fresh blade that I'm just itching to test!”
Eoin Colfer, The Lost Colony

Eoin Colfer
“Humanity was heaved back to the paper age in half a second. Life-support systems spat out bolts of energy and died. Precious manuscripts were lost. Banks collapsed as all financial records for the past fifty years were completely wiped out. Planes fell from the sky, the Graum II space station drifted off into space, and defense satellites that were not supposed to exist stopped existing. People took to the streets, shouting into their dead cell phones as if volume could reactivate them. Looting spread across countries like a computer virus while actual computer viruses died with their hosts, and credit cards became mere rectangles of plastic. Parliaments were stormed worldwide as citizens blamed their governments for this series of inexplicable catastrophes. Gouts of fire and foul blurts of actual brimstone emerged from cracks in the earth. These were mostly from ruptured pipes, but people took up a cry of Armageddon. Chaos reigned, and the survivalists eagerly unwrapped the kidskin from their crossbows.”
Eoin Colfer, The Last Guardian

Eoin Colfer
“The others ignored him, busy doing what men generally do in dangerous times: putting on their trousers.”
Eoin Colfer, The Time Paradox

Eoin Colfer
“It looks like you've found an intellectual equal, Mulch," said Holly. "It's a pity he isn't a girl; then you could marry him."

Mulch imitated shock. "Romance outside your species. Now THAT's disgusting. What kind of weirdo would kiss someone when they weren't even part of the same species?”
Eoin Colfer, The Time Paradox

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