Iris Choi

“If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written.”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

“I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

“(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl Boxed Set, Bks 1-5