Claus Kerr

“Peeling apples, just peeling apples. Didn’t feel your boobs. No, no, not me”
― Alice Clayton, Wallbanger

“You done with work?
Yep, at home waiting for you.
Now that's a nice visual...
Prepare yourself, I'm taking bread out of the oven.
Don't tease me woman...zucchini?
Cranberry orange. Mmmm...
No woman has ever done breakfast bread foreplay the way you do.
Ha! When you coming?
Can't. Drive. Straight.
Can we have one conversation when you're not twelve?
Sorry, I'll be there in 30
Perfect, that will give me time to frost my buns.
Pardon me?
Oh, didn't I tell you? I also made cinnamon rolls.
Be there in 25.”
― Alice Clayton, Wallbanger

“Hi, pot. It’s me, kettle,” Sophia snapped back.
“Hi kettle, you have about thirty seconds before this pot kicks your ass.”
― Alice Clayton, Wallbanger

“I moaned like a whore in church.
To be fair, I’d never actually heard a whore moan in church, but I had a feeling it sounded a lot like the unholy sounds pouring forth from my mouth.”
― Alice Clayton, Wallbanger