Amylia Smith

“Let your inner DORK shine through.”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life

“STAY HOME FROM SCHOOL FAUX VOMIT:

1 cup of cooked oatmeal

1.2 cup of sour cream (or buttermilk ranch dressing or anything that smells like rancid, sour milk)

2 chopped cheese sticks (for chunkiness)

1 uncooked egg (for authentic slimy texture)

1 can of split pea soup (for putrid green color)

1/4 cup of raisins (to increase gross-osity)

Mix ingredients and simmer over low heat for 2 minutes

Let mixture cool to warm vomit temperature
Use liberally as needed
Makes 4 to 5 cups”
― Rachel Renee Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Popular Party Girl

“BTW, the roach's name is Max (courtesy of Brianna, "because of I had a puppy, I'd name him Max").”
― Rachel Renee Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Popular Party Girl

“You're such a big BABY. So cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Popular Party Girl