Brian Zhang

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Jerry Lewis
“I've had great success being a total idiot. ”
Jerry Lewis

Rachel Caine
“But that quickly faded, and he frowned. "You're bleeding," he said. "What happened?"
Claire sighed and held up her wrist to show him the bandage. "Man, you would be so embarrassed if I said it was something else." Michael looked blank. "I'm a girl, Michael, it could have been all natural, you know. Tampons?”
Rachel Caine, Midnight Alley

Mark Twain
“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
Mark Twain

D.J. MacHale
“Now it was just the three of us: the leader, the warrior, and the kid about to wet his pants. Guess who I was.”
D.J. MacHale

Rodney Dangerfield
“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
Rodney Dangerfield

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