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“Denial can be confusing because it resembles sleeping. We’re not really aware we’re doing it until we’re done doing it. Forcing ourselves—or anyone else—to face the truth usually doesn’t help. We won’t face the facts until we are ready. Neither, it seems, will anyone else. We may admit to the truth for a moment, but we won’t let ourselves know what we know until we feel safe, secure, and prepared enough to deal and cope with it.”
― The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency
― The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency
“Codependents are reactionaries. They overreact. They under-react. But rarely do they act. They react to the problems, pains, lives, and behaviors of others. They react to their own problems, pains, and behaviors.”
― Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
― Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
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“Many of the people I’ve worked with in family groups have been that obsessed with people they care about. When I asked them what they were feeling, they told me what the other person was feeling. When I asked what they did, they told me what the other person had done. Their entire focus was on someone or something other than themselves. Some of them had spent years of their lives doing this—worrying about, reacting to, and trying to control other human beings. They were shells, sometimes almost invisible shells, of people. Their energy was depleted—directed at someone else. They couldn’t tell me what they were feeling and thinking because they didn’t know. Their focus was not on themselves.”
― Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
― Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“or to what we hope they are. The more we work through our family of origin issues, the less we will find ourselves needing to work through them with the people we’re attracted to. Finishing our business from the past helps us form new and healthier relationships. The more we overcome our need to be excessive caretakers, the less we will find ourselves attracted to people who need to be constantly taken care of. The more we learn to love and respect ourselves, the more we will become attracted to people who will love and respect us and who we can safely love and respect. This is a slow process. We need to be patient with ourselves. The type of people we find ourselves attracted to does not change overnight. Being attracted to dysfunctional people can linger long and well into recovery. That does not mean we need to allow it to control us. The fact is, we will initiate and maintain relationships with people we need to be with until we learn what it is we need to learn—no matter how long we’ve been recovering. No matter who we find ourselves relating to, and what we discover happening in the relationship, the issue is still about us, and not about the other person. That is the heart, the hope, and the power of recovery.”
― The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency
― The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency
Freda’s 2024 Year in Books
Take a look at Freda’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
0 books
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6 friends
1 book
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10 friends
1 book
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33 friends
Favorite Genres
Polls voted on by Freda
Lists liked by Freda
