Michael Ikirt

“Three of Rostand the Baker’s seven children have conspicuously blue eyes and blond hair, much like Stanford P. Ames, the smithy who was found dead in his kitchen with forty-seven stab wounds in his back. Police called it a suicide, but there are rumors.”
― Robert Bevan, Critical Failures II: Fail Harder

“Now most of them are roaming around, hungry and vacant shells. Hmm. I just described most college students. Alright, let me add: also dead.”
― Joshua Guess, With Spring Comes the Fall

“We definitely need to get me out of here. Please, giant talking rabbit, get me out of this nightmare.”
― Isabella Fontaine, The Grimm Chronicles Vol. 1

“Later, in describing its narrow escape, the creature credited doubly good luck in having mimicked the shape of a harmless doll and the fact that the paranormal investigators had been looking for a hump-free boggart.   3.”
― Giovanni Valentino, Alternate Hilarities