Alissa Ceruzzi

“California: bordering always on the Pacific and sometimes on the ridiculous. So, why do I live here? Because the sun goes down a block from my house.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

“Hello. We’re the ones who control your lives. We make the decisions that affect all of you. Isn’t it interesting to know that those who run your lives would have the nerve to tell you about it in this manner? Suffer, you fools. We know everything you do, and we know where you go. What do you think the cameras are for? And the global-positioning satellites? And the Social Security numbers? You belong to us. And it can’t be changed. Sign your petitions, walk your picket lines, bring your lawsuits, cast your votes, and write those stupid letters to whomever you please; you won’t change a thing. Because we control your lives. And we have plans for you. Go back to sleep. THEY”
― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork chops?

“The future will soon be a thing of the past.”
― George Carlin

“These are the kinds of thoughts that made it necessary to separate me from the other kids at school.”
― George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty