Jennifer V.

“Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did?
Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty.
Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin.
Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”
― Bill Watterson

“Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN”
― Bill Watterson

“History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.”
― Bill Watterson, Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat

“I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”
― Bill Watterson