Dennis Winston

“We’ve noticed in our own lives that too much sympathy isn’t helpful. It’s draining—and to no useful end. Sympathy kicks in when our heads overidentify with someone in need and we start projecting our own concerns. Our heads persuade us that in order to be a good friend, we have to “get into” that person’s pain, identify with it and make it our own. But that means engulfing ourselves in the same draining emotions our friend is suffering from. By the time we project our own concerns about the problem on top of our friend’s concerns, we’re sinking into an emotional bog that’s not helpful to anyone. That’s why an offer of sympathy so often leads to two people crying in their beers instead of one—with no solution in sight.”
― Doc Childre, The HeartMath Solution: The Institute of HeartMath's Revolutionary Program for Engaging the Power of the Heart's Intelligence