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“The phone at my ass started ringing, I leaned forward and pulled it out.
“Don’t answer that,” Noah ordered.
“Fuck you,” I shot back, saw the display said “Luke calling” and flipped it open.
“Yo.”
“Babe,” Luke replied.
“I’ve been kidnapped again,” I informed him.
“I know. I’m following.”
― Kristen Ashley, Rock Chick Revenge

“I turned to Eddie. "Okay, I've never done this. This is the guy's department. What do I do? We need to get Lee's size and we need industrial strength. Show me which ones to buy."
Eddie looked at the display and looked to me. "You're askin' me to help you buy condoms for Lee?"
" Industrial strength condoms," I reminded him.
Eddie stared at me like he was re-thinking his crush on me.
"okay," I said, trying to be helpful, "we'll break it down. We'll start with the size."
He shook his head. "First, I'm a little worried you're lookin' to me to tell you Lee's size. Lee es mi hermano , but we aren't that close. Second, they don't come in sizes.”
― Kristen Ashley, Rock Chick

“I'll let you in on a secret, honey. The knight who has serious chinks in his armor but never falls is the true hero. That means he's won battles and doesn't waste time polishing his armor so he can look good while he rides in parades that are tributes to his glory. He just drags himself back on his steed and keeps right on battling. And if he's the right kind of knight, he never rides alone. The best heroes inspire loyalty. The best heroes keep fighting the good fight, tirelessly, quietly. The best heroes always have scars. If they didn't, the heroine would have nothing to do. It's her job to help the hero let all that stuff go in order that her man can be strong enough to fight on but when he's with her he's free to just 'breathe'.”
― Kristen Ashley, Breathe

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor