Arthur Spooner

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.”
― Albert Einstein

“Meow” means “woof” in cat.”
― George Carlin

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”
― Mark Twain

“The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.”
― Scott Adams