Shawn Thompson

“He looked as though his life had not only passed him by but paused along the way to spit in his face.”
― David Sedaris

“What are you, tap dancing up there? You want a put on a show, do you? Well, the theater's closed for the night. Take your act on the road; it's four o'clock in the morning,goddamnit.”
― David Sedaris, Naked

“The thing to remeber is that more than anything in this world, these colored people wish they were white.”
― David Sedaris, Naked

“Motherfucker, you try that again and I'll come in there with a fucking coat hanger and give you something to fucking kick about”
― David Sedaris, Naked