Phoenix

“By now, it is probably very late at night, and you have stayed up to read this book when you should have gone to sleep. If this is the case, then I commend you for falling into my trap. It is a writer's greatest pleasure to hear that someone was kept up until the unholy hours of the morning reading one of his books. It goes back to authors being terrible people who delight in the suffering of others. Plus, we get a kickback from the caffeine industry...”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“Boys, welcome to the wonderful world of talking to women about their feelings. As a handy primer, here are a few things you should know:

1) Women have feelings.
2) You will spend the next seventy years or so trying to guess what they're feeling and why.
3) You will be wrong most of the time.
4) I like French Fries.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Shattered Lens

“the Law of Inevitable Occurrence. In layman’s terms, this law states that some things simply have to happen. If there’s a red button on a console with the words don’t push taped above it, someone will push it. If there’s a gun hanging conspicuously above Chekhov’s fireplace, someone is going to end up shooting it (probably at Nietzsche).”
― Brandon Sanderson, The Scrivener's Bones

“No I’m not,” I whisper to myself. “I’m a fucking evil psychopath.”
― Bret Easton Ellis, American Psycho