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Derek Landy
“You're bored, aren't you.'
'I need constant distraction. Shall we go?'
'Uh, aren't you supposed to delegate responsibility or something? If you're not here, who's in charge?'
Skulduggery looked around and pointed to a sorcerer at the far side of the cemetery. 'He is.'
'Who is he?'
'Don't know. He looks like leadership material, though, doesn't he?'
'Does he?'
'He's wearing a hat.'
'And that means he's a leader?'
'Leaders wear hats. It's to keep the rain off while we make important decisions. He'll do fine.'
'Shouldn't you tell him that he's in charge?'
'And spoil the surprise?”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

Derek Landy
“Come on. I know you're not a stupid man.'
'I'm quite stupid. Ask anyone.'
'Finbar, are there superheroes living among us?'
Finbar snorted with laughter and Kenny started to feel a little thick. 'Superheroes? In tights and capes, flying around? If there were superheroes, Mr. Journalist, don't you think they'd be in New York or somewhere like that? There's not that many tall buildings for Spiderman to swing from in Dublin, you know? He'd have maybe two good swings and then hang there looking disappointed.'
'These people don't wear tights and capes, Finbar.'
'So they're naked superheroes? That's grand for now, but when the good weather is over they're going to regret it.'
'They look like us. They dress like us. But they're not like us. They're different.'
'You,' Finbar said. 'Are sounding very racist right now.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

Derek Landy
“I just want to let you know that I love you all. Even those of you that I don't like; that's you Beryl.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

Derek Landy
“I have sought you out to cure me.'
'To cure you of what?'
'Of this cursed affliction.'
'I cannot cure stupidity.'
Scapegrace frowned.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

John Flanagan
“Would you have done that in his place? Would you have left him and gone on?"
"Of course I would!" Halt replied immediately. But something in his voice rang false and Horse looked at him, raising one eyebrow. He'd waited a long time for an opportunity to use that expression of disbelief on Halt.
After a pause, the Ranger's anger subsided.
"All right. Perhaps I wouldn't," he admitted. Then he glared at Horace. "And stop raising that eyebrow on me. You can't even do it properly. Your other eyebrow moves with it!”
― John Flanagan, Halt's Peril
tags: funny

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