Rachel

“Felix believed that the answer to every problem involved penguins; but it wasn't fair to birds, and I was getting tired of teleporting them back home. Somewhere in Antarctica, a whole flock of Magellanic penguins were undergoing psychotherapy.”
― Rick Riordan, The Throne of Fire

“Oh.' I shot upright. 'I was in Mongolia.'
Note to self: learn to be a less extreme liar.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“Doughboy," I said. "What is this scroll?"
"A spell lost in time!" he pronounced. "Ancient words of tremendous power!"
"Well?" I demanded. "Does it tell how to defeat Set?"
"Better! The title reads: The Book of Summoning Fruit Bats!”
― Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid

“Ah, Mastery of the Five Elements!"
"Is that the one we want?" I asked.
"No, but a good one. How to tame the five essential elements of the universe - earth, air, water, fire, and cheese!"
"Cheese?”
― Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid