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Steven Wright
“I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.”
― Steven Wright

Steven Wright
“When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.”
― Steven Wright

Steven Wright
“The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.”
― Steven Wright

Steven Wright
“If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.”
― Steven Wright

Steven Wright
“If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?”
― Steven Wright

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