John Nelson

“Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.”
― Erma Bombeck

“If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.”
― Erma Bombeck

“Housework can kill you if done right.”
― Erma Bombeck