Elle

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Groucho Marx
“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”
Groucho Marx

J.K. Rowling
“Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students.
"Don’t let it worry you," said Ron. "It’s me. I’m extremely famous.”
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

J.K. Rowling
“Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?"
"Yes."
"You called her a liar?"
"Yes."
"You told her He Who Must Not Be Named is back?"
"Yes."
"Have a biscuit, Potter.”
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

George Carlin
“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
George Carlin

J.K. Rowling
“Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –"
"Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet."
"Great idea though, thanks, Mum.”
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

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