“Shame ruptures our connection with life and with our soul. It is, indeed, a sickness of the soul. When feelings of shame arise, we pull back from the world, avoiding contact that could cause or risk exposure. The last thing we want in times of excruciating self-consciousness is to be seen. We find ourselves avoiding the gaze of others, we become silent and withdrawn, all in hopes of slipping under the radar. I remember sharing with the audience that the goal of the shame-bound person was to get from birth to death without ever being an echo on the radar of life. My tombstone was going to read “Safe at Last.” Gershon Kaufman, one of the most important writers on shame, has said that shame leaves us feeling “unspeakably and irreparably defective.”29 It is unspeakable because we do not want anyone to know how we feel inside. We fear it is irreparable because we think it is not something we have done wrong—it is simply who we are. We cannot remove the stain from our core. We search and search for the defect, hoping that that, once found, it can be exorcised like some grotesque demon. But it lingers, remaining there our entire lives, anxious that it will be seen and simultaneously longing to be seen and touched with compassion.”
― The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief
― The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief
“Three things no one has ever said about me:
You make it look so easy.
You are very mysterious.
You need to take yourself more seriously.”
― Dept. of Speculation
You make it look so easy.
You are very mysterious.
You need to take yourself more seriously.”
― Dept. of Speculation
“It is important to look into the shadows of our lives and to see who lives there, tattered, withered, hungry, and alone. Bringing these parts of soul back to the table is a central element of our work. Ending their exile means releasing the contempt we hold for these parts of who we are. It means welcoming the full range of our being and restoring our wholeness. Until then, we will continue to carry a feeling of worthlessness and brokenness.”
― The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief
― The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief
“The only love that feels like love is the doomed kind. (Fun fact.)”
― Dept. of Speculation
― Dept. of Speculation
“the pain didn’t go away, but its sharp edge had dulled and softened like sea glass.”
― Pachinko
― Pachinko
Cassie’s 2024 Year in Books
Take a look at Cassie’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
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