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“IN ONE IMPORTANT WAY, an abusive man works like a magician: His tricks largely rely on getting you to look off in the wrong direction, distracting your attention so that you won’t notice where the real action is. He draws you into focusing on the turbulent world of his feelings to keep your eyes turned away from the true cause of his abusiveness, which lies in how he thinks. He leads you into a convoluted maze, making your relationship with him a labyrinth of twists and turns. He wants you to puzzle over him, to try to figure him out, as though he were a wonderful but broken machine for which you need only to find and fix the malfunctioning parts to bring it roaring to its full potential. His desire, though he may not admit it even to himself, is that you wrack your brain in this way so that you won’t notice the patterns and logic of his behavior, the consciousness behind the craziness.”
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
“The central attitudes driving the Player are:
Women were put on this earth to have sex with men—especially me.
Women who want sex are too loose, and women who refuse sex are too uptight. (!)
It’s not my fault that women find me irresistible. (This is a word-for-word quotation from a number of my clients.) It’s not fair to expect me to refuse temptation when it’s all around me; women seduce me sometimes, and I can’t help it.
If you act like you need anything from me, I am going to ignore you. I’m in this relationship when it’s convenient for me and when I feel like it.
Women who want the nonsexual aspects of themselves appreciated are bitches.
If you could meet my sexual needs, I wouldn’t have to turn to other women.”
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
Women were put on this earth to have sex with men—especially me.
Women who want sex are too loose, and women who refuse sex are too uptight. (!)
It’s not my fault that women find me irresistible. (This is a word-for-word quotation from a number of my clients.) It’s not fair to expect me to refuse temptation when it’s all around me; women seduce me sometimes, and I can’t help it.
If you act like you need anything from me, I am going to ignore you. I’m in this relationship when it’s convenient for me and when I feel like it.
Women who want the nonsexual aspects of themselves appreciated are bitches.
If you could meet my sexual needs, I wouldn’t have to turn to other women.”
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
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“Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once.”
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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