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Groucho Marx
“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”
Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx
“Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.”
Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx
“I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.”
Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx
“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.”
Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”
Groucho Marx

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