Karen Sudom

“One of the great traps of the narcissistic relationship is that the narcissistic folks actually believe they are nice people. They really do. It’s part of their system of delusional grandiosity, self-righteousness, and moral rectitude.”
― Ramani Durvasula, It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People

“I am tired of people calling those of us who get stuck in these cycles "codependent" or "addicted" to the narcissistic relationship. It's not that. If you have any empathy, have normal cognitive functioning, and were shaped by societal and cultural norms and realities, it is not surprising that you would get stuck. The narcissistic relationship is like a riptide that pulls you back in even as you try to swim away. The intensity, attentiveness, and highs and lows are why you swim out to where the riptide is. The abusive behavior makes you want to swim away from the riptide, but the guilt and fear of leaving, the practical issues raised by leaving (financial, safety, cultural, family), as well as the natural drive toward attachment, connection, and love are what keep you stuck in the riptide's pull.”
― Ramani Durvasula, It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People

“Radical acceptance of the injustice is part of this process-it not fair, I cannot change it; I can, however, chart a different and authentic course forward and learn from this. Be kind to yourself, take a breath or a rest, and recognize that with time your growth and healing will supplant this injustice, but for now it needs to be grieved.”
― Ramani Durvasula, It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People

“It was the one where she walked around in her skin and her bones for the rest of her life but her body was never recovered. You know the one.”
― Rebecca Makkai, I Have Some Questions For You