Daniela

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Alice Clayton
“We have to stop, this is insane. I literally cannot handle anymore. I think I’ve lost brain function. I can actually feel myself becoming stupid”

“Not possible. Let’s test it. What’s two times two?”
“Orange?”
Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

Alice Clayton
“It's always the accent that drives you American women crazy. I'd no idea you fancied it, too…” he trailed off.
“Oooh, fancied it. Say more like that,” I begged, smiling into the pillow.
“Like what, Grace?”
“Talk British to me,” I whispered, only half joking.
“Dustbins.”
“More,” I encouraged.
“Crumpets.”
“More!” I demanded.
“Knickers.”
If I could hear Jack Hamilton say a second word for the rest of my life, it would be knickers.
“Say put another shrimp on the barbie!” I cried.
“Grace, that's Australian,” he chided.
“Say it!”
“Fine. Put another shrimp on the barbie. Bloody hell,” he muttered.
“Aaaahhhhhhh!” I screamed into the phone.”
Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

Alice Clayton
“Grace, did you just sniff my shirt?" He asked, incredulous.
“Yep, I did. What of it? And after you leave, I’ll probably lay on your side for a while because the pillow smells like you. I’m ridiculous when I’m in love. We’re talking Hallmark over here.”
Alice Clayton, The Unidentified Redhead

Tara Sivec
“And let’s face it people, no one is ever honest with you about child birth. Not even your mother.       “It’s a pain you forget all about once you have that sweet little baby in your arms.”     Bullshit.   I CALL BULLSHIT.   Any friend, cousin, or nosey-ass stranger in the grocery store that tells you it’s not that bad is a lying sack of shit.   Your vagina is roughly the size of the girth of a penis.   It has to stretch and open andturn into a giant bat cave so the life-sucking human you’ve been growing for nine months can angrily claw its way out.   Who in their right mind would do that willingly?   You’re just walking along one day and think to yourself, “You know, I think it’s time I turn my vagina into an Arby’s Beef and Cheddar (minus the cheddar) and saddle myself down for a minimum of eighteen years to someone who will suck the soul and the will to live right out of my body so I’m a shell of the person I used to be and can’t get laid even if I pay for it.”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

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