Ursula

“Lex malla, lex nulla,” said Julian with a regretful wave of his hand. It was the Blackthorn family motto: A bad law is no law.
“I wonder what other family mottoes are,” Emma mused. “Do you know any?”
“The Lightwood family motto is ‘We mean well.’ ”
“Very funny.”
Julian looked over at her. “No, really, it actually is.”
“Seriously? So what’s the Herondale family motto? ‘Chiseled but angsty’?”
He shrugged. ‘If you don’t know what your last name is, it’s probably Herondale’?”
Emma burst out laughing. “What about Carstairs?” she asked, tapping Cortana. “ ‘We have a sword’? ‘Blunt instruments are for losers’?”
“Morgenstern,” offered Julian. “ ‘When in doubt, start a war’?”
― Cassandra Clare, Lord of Shadows

“Oh, please," said Simon. "All I did was tell you the entire plot if Star Wars"
"I don't think I remember that," said Isabelle, taking a cookie from the plate on the table.
"Oh, yeah? Who was Luke Skywalker's best childhood friend?"
"Biggs Darklighter," Isabelle said immediately, and hit the table with the flat of her hand. "That is so cheating!" Still, she grinned at him around her cookie.
"Ah," said Magnus. "Nerd love. It is a beautiful thing...”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Lost Souls

“Once upon a time, there was a prince. From a young age, he knew he was destined for greatness for he knew that one day, he would inherit the kingdom from his father. But the prince also had a secret. He was scared of failure. Terrified of it. So completely frightened of not being as good a king as his father, that he would stay up every night braced with the fear of mediocrity.

And so, the prince took a medicine to calm his anxiety and he slew trolls! And he took more, and he slew dragons! But one day, he took too much and nearly lost everything. So he was banished. The kingdom would not have him. He was the talk of the countryside, an embarrassment to his family and more important, a disappointment to the king.

But the prince would concoct a plan. He would venture back to the land of the queen. There, he would reclaim greatness and thereby gain entrance to the kingdom. And all was going well until of course, this little shit came along.”
― Ngozi Ukazu, Check, Please!

“What? I don't hate Christians," Voldemort lied dishonestly. 'What are you even talking about?'
'You're still pretending to be dumb,' the Reverend pointed out truthfully. 'We know all about your plot to illegalize Christianity, Voldemort.'
Voldemort blinked stupidly again and questioned evilly, 'Wait. Is this about my Reddit account?'
'Is that what you call your godless coven?”
― Grace Ann Parsons, Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles