Vivian

“I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I'd happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“It is so wearisome having to represent things. That is why I refuse to look at abstract art. It is much too suggestive of the style of my thoughts, and I never think about my thoughts.”
― Bauvard, The Prince Of Plungers

“I’m a Pisces, and people say that Pisces make the best the best lovers. That’s because Pisces are fish, and it’s like my grandpa always used to say, “The next best thing to making love to a mermaid, is having sex with a fish.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“If I had a dollar for every time a random woman walked up to me and tried to seduce me, I'd have 50 cents. That's assuming drag queens are half price.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale