Eric Cullen

“She said she could no longer live in New York, that she was being tormented day and night by some obsessive stalker. This caught me completely by surprise, as I had taken to hanging around Sarah’s apartment, hiding in the bushes day and night, watching her come and go, and I had never seen any signs of a stalker.”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story

“The only thing an old man can tell a young man is that it goes fast, real fast, and if you’re not careful it’s too late. Of course, the young man will never understand this truth.”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story

“Sometimes a writer's strike is good. Maybe if we had a writer's strike now, people would have to read Shakespeare instead of James Patterson.”
― Norm Macdonald

“The plain truth is that Adam Eget is an alcoholic and that’s why he doesn’t drink. Me, I’m not an alcoholic and that’s why I do drink. Life sure is funny that way.”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story