Caleb Xiao

“Once the others were below, Hazel and Leo faced each other awkwardly. They were alone except for Coach Hedge, who was back on the quarterdeck singing the Pokémon theme song. The coach had changed the words to: Gotta Kill ’Em All, and Leo really didn’t want to know why.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“you know that just twelve years after our Revolutionary War, they had a revolution in France? So they were just a bunch of copycats. We also learned about some French guy named Napoleon who was always sticking his hand in his shirt. Nobody knew why. I guess he had a rash or something. That guy should get some ointment to put on his stomach.”
― Dan Gutman, Oh, Valentine, We've Lost Our Minds!

“footnote:

"With all due respect" is grown-up talk for "I think you're stupid.”
― Dan Gutman, Mrs. Dole Is Out of Control!

“I sat up and the blankets fell away.I looked down and found I was wearing pokemon pajamas.
"Sadie,"I said,"I'm going to kill you."
She batted her eyes innocently."But the street merchant gave us a very good deal on those.Walt said they would fit you."
Walt raised his hand."Don't blame me,man.I tried to stick up for you."
Bes snorted,then did a pretty good imitation of Walt's voice:"At least get the extra-large ones with Pikachu.”
― Rick Riordan, The Throne of Fire