Caleb Xiao

“I sat up and the blankets fell away.I looked down and found I was wearing pokemon pajamas.
"Sadie,"I said,"I'm going to kill you."
She batted her eyes innocently."But the street merchant gave us a very good deal on those.Walt said they would fit you."
Walt raised his hand."Don't blame me,man.I tried to stick up for you."
Bes snorted,then did a pretty good imitation of Walt's voice:"At least get the extra-large ones with Pikachu.”
― Rick Riordan, The Throne of Fire

“footnote:

"With all due respect" is grown-up talk for "I think you're stupid.”
― Dan Gutman, Mrs. Dole Is Out of Control!

“Look at me; I look like a flying pegasus.” “Squawk,” said Crabwing, dancing in the sand. Suddenly, and without warning, cold rain dumped from the sky, and Star was soaked in seconds. Star nickered to his bird. “That’s what I get for admiring myself.”
― Jennifer Lynn Alvarez, Starfire

“I want you to open that cabinet over the sink slowly,” Officer Spence ordered. “And then back away. No false moves, Cooney!” Mrs. Cooney went and opened the cabinet over the sink. There were some bandages in there and some bottles of aspirin. “Aha!” Officer Spence hollered. “Aspirin! Can you get that stuff in a drugstore?” “Well, yes, of course,” Mrs. Cooney said. “Just as I suspected!” Officer Spence shouted. “You’re a drug dealer!” “WHAT?!” “You’re handing out drugs to innocent children!” Officer Spence yelled as he wheeled in a portable jail cell. “You should be ashamed of yourself. How do you sleep at night?” “I take NyQuil,” Mrs. Cooney said.”
― Dan Gutman, Officer Spence Makes No Sense!