Rinny

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“Petey, when I undress you with my eyes, I get blinded by that fluorescent orange crab-trap you call your bush and immediately dress you again. And where the hell does anyone get hair that color anyway? What exactly did your mom screw to have you, huh? Carrots? Or pumpkins? Maybe a traffic cone? Is your dad a traffic cone, Petey?”
― J.F. Smith, Latakia

tags: humor

20 likes

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I have great taste in music, we can listen to Justin Bieber and Black Eyed Peas and Nickelback all day long!”
― salifiable

tags: bieber, black-eyed-peas, humour, music, nickelback

4 likes

“I tried to whisper sweet nothings into your ear but you're way the fuck over there and I'm way the fuck over here.”
― Crystal Rose, I'll Be Your Drill, Soldier

tags: sweet-talk

41 likes

“No, I really did. I walked into that room and saw the hottest, sexiest guy I've ever seen - wet and half naked. And I said, "Ewww."

I know. How am I still single, right?”
― Nicole Christie, Falling for the Ghost of You

tags: humor

165 likes

“Now wait a second..." Kenneth butted in.
"Yeah, we haven't asked you the questions yet," Brandon finished for Kenneth.
"Yeah, like what are your intentions toward our little Ryan," Patrick added, smirking.
"What do you do for a living?" Brandon added.
"Can you support Ryan's shoe fetish?" Kenneth threw his question in too.
"Hmm, okay, here are my answers. I plan on feeding him, dancing with him and God willing fucking him until he can't walk straight. I help infertile chickens have baby chickens, and I think so. I'm hoping his feet are about my size. We can share shoes and everything," Phillip answered.”
― Crystal Rose, I'll Be Your Drill, Soldier

tags: gay-romance, humour

68 likes

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