Joke Scheffers

“Dear designer of questionable intent,

Please send me a photo of yourself. Please be wearing the knitted pants that you designed. It's not that I don't believe that there is anyone out there thing enough to wear horizontally stripped trousers knit from chunky wool, it's just that I would like to know whether you are deliberately cruel or whether you are the one woman these would look really great on.”
― Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, At Knit's End: Meditations for Women Who Knit Too Much

“If I cannot fly, let me sing.”
― Stephen Sondheim

“He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

“Some people have lives; some people have music.”
― John Green, Will Grayson, Will Grayson