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Albert Einstein
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

Mark Twain
“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
― Mark Twain

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
― Anthony G. Oettinger

Groucho Marx
“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

Steven Wright
“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
― Steven Wright

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