Simon Jonsson

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Stephen Colbert
“Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.”
Stephen Colbert, I Am America

Stephen Colbert
“Tomorrow you're all going to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones, created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where tax-and-spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio, and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh, and everybody's high!”
Stephen Colbert, I Am America

Stephen Colbert
“The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.”
Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert
“Baby carrots are making me gay.”
Stephen Colbert, I Am America

Stephen Colbert
“I’m the frosting on America’s cake, and tonight I’m willing to let you lick the bowl.”
Stephen Colbert

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