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Ralph Waldo Emerson
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Emerson in His Journals

George Burns
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
― George Burns

W.C. Fields
“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”
― W.C. Fields

David Sedaris
“If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.”
― David Sedaris, Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
― Paul Terry

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