Dim

“Our home has been nothing but a playroom. I have been your doll-wife, just as at home I was papa's doll-child; and here the children have been my dolls.”
― Henrik Ibsen, A Doll's House

“Time and again, I have asked myself why therapy works for some people while others remain the prisoners of their symptoms despite years of analysis or therapeutic care. In each and every case I examined, I was able to establish that when people found the kind of therapeutic care and companionship that enabled them to discover their own story and give free expression to their indignation at their parents’ behavior, they were able to liberate themselves from the maltreated child’s destructive attachment. As adults they were able to take their lives into their own hands and did not need to hate their parents. The opposite was the case with people whose therapists enjoined them to forgive and forget, actually believing that such forgiveness could have a salutary, curative effect. They remained trapped in the position of small children who believe they love their parents but in fact allow themselves to be controlled all their lives by the internalized parents and ultimately develop some kind of illness that leads to premature death. Such dependency actively fosters the hatred that, though repressed, remains active, and it drives them to direct their aggression at innocent people. We only hate as long as we feel totally powerless. I”
― Alice Miller, The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Hurtful Parenting

“FREQUENTLY, PHYSICAL ILLNESSES are the body’s response to permanent disregard of its vital functions. One of our most vital functions is an ability to listen to the true story of our own lives.”
― Alice Miller, The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Hurtful Parenting

“When the boys yell after you like hyenas, you yell back, baby.
I will not teach you to be afraid of your anger
so that you look for it in others.
I will not make you be the better person,
because you already are.
You wanna fight 'em? Fight 'em.
Don't you dare apologize for the fierce love
you have for yourself
and the lengths you go to preserve it.”
― Caitlyn Siehl, What We Buried